Thursday, March 5, 2009

New Slogan Suggestions

Jennifer scratches her head and asks "Where does all the money go?" Hell if I know.

Poof.

Five major stocks (and their bullshit web sites):
Price on 3/5/2008 - Price Today...
General Electric: $33.55 - $6.66
Slogan: "Imagination at Work."
My suggestion: "Imagine if I had Work."

Bank of America: $37.55 - $3.17
Slogan: "Bank of Opportunity."
My suggestion: "Desperate for Opportunity."
General Motors: $22.97 - $1.86
Slogan: "Leadership of Tomorrow Today."
My suggestion: "Pray for
the Volt."
CitiBank: $22.15 - $1.02
Slogan: "Banking the way it should be."
My suggestion: "We put the CASH in CrASH."
American International Group: $44.61 - $0.35
Slogan: "Moving Forward."
My suggestion: "Over the Cliff."

This is, as of today,
the second worse stock market crash in history with a 53.4% loss to date, bumping the 1937-38 crash's 49.1% loss. The number one spot still belongs to the 1930-32 crash with a whopping 86% loss. Don't you feel special?

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