Bon Voyage Jeffery!

Me and Jeffery.  Our friendship is the longest either of us have had so far.

We were fellow partiers. We played and sang countless songs together. We played hundreds of games of chess together, played poker and bridge together, wargames, and probably a lot of other games I no longer recall. We were ‘Dillo friends long before the Cumberland Island Armadillos were even a thought, before I was married, before I went to India. We had so much fun together it is difficult now to even believe it was us. We watched each other change considerably over almost a half century of friendship.

Jeffery is a surprising man of marvelous humor, inquiring mind, rugged skilled hands, innate creativity, and emotional intelligence. He is a bit of an odd-ball like me. We are both sort of like the people who live around here. But, in fundamental ways, we are like no one around here at all. We were born and grew up here, graduated together (though we did not know each other until after high school), and lived in Athens for years frequenting many parties. Then we went our separate ways and ended up back here.

When I returned from India, I really had no clue what I was going to do next. I had no plan for my life. The local newspaper ran a story on my trip because it is not every day someone from around here goes to a bizarre foreign place for six months just to travel and experience another culture. Jeffery read the article and, since it was 1986, he looked up my mom and dad’s number in the telephone book and gave it a call. Turns out I answered.

I was surprised to hear from him. Following his trade and his craft, and exiting a marriage, he moved back here before I left for India. I never thought I’d see him again, just as I never thought I’d never see a lot of my friends. (Most of them I never did, to this point anyway.) It wasn’t long after that we started camping and backpacking together. What else were we going to do back then?

Dillo's among the golden rod at Twin Oaks a few weeks back. Left to right: Mark, Jennifer, Jeffery, Brian, and me.

Mark (center) and Brian (right) don't get to see so much open space as is common around Twin Oaks.  Living in the Big-A takes you away from all that.  What open space they have is usually filled with a lot of people trying to enjoy the same space.  Here, it is a luxurious normality.  Which is one reason we were all so avid campers and backpackers to begin with.

We easily picked up playing chess again, watching movies, pilgrimaging back to Athens to visit mutual friends, as well as making other weekend trips. When I found my future bride and made a whole collection of new friends in Atlanta, Jeffery ended up being part of the mix. We all enjoyed camping and backpacking, which is how Jennifer and I ended up honeymooning at Cumberland Island and how, ultimately, the ‘Dillos were officially formed.

Jeffery, Clint, Mark, Ted, Jennifer and myself were the original ‘Dillos. That number grew through the years, people came and went as they always do, but Jeffery and I remained in contact. Our friendship is one of the OGs for what became decades of the most satisfying social fun I ever had in my life (so far).

About a half dozen years ago Jeffery met someone online. She was a nanny in the Middle East but she was from the Philippines. Their regular chats turned into something deeper. A couple of years ago, after her nanny gig was up, he went to see her in the Philippines. Without telling anyone, they were married during his stay of a couple of weeks there. He returned with the promise to get her a green card. Long, ludicrously complicated story made short, that never worked out. The green card, that is.

For two years they were married but only able to interact online. The time difference sort of worked in their favor as such things go. They would speak when Jeffery awoke to start his day, which coincided with the end of her day. In the evening he would wish her good morning before going to bed himself.

I knew her second-hand through Jeffery’s stories and photos he would share. She had a son going through college, who married and ended up having a daughter born recently on Jeffery’s birthday. So he’s a grandfather now, too.

He retired earlier this year, got his social security going, sold his house and decided, since it was so difficult to get his wife here, that he would move there. He hopes to live out his life in their simpler world, perhaps buying a house on the beach (his money will go far in the Philippines) and definitely spending a lot of time with his granddaughter. As it should be.

Stephanie, Will and Clint joined us for dinner.

Some of the ‘Dillos gathered at Twin Oaks a few weeks ago to wish Jeffery farewell. We socialized, reminisced, and away he went. Well, sort of. Arranging the optimum travel itinerary over there turned out to be trickier than he anticipated – just as his efforts were to bring his wife here.

Then things got worse. Air traffic controllers worked sporadically through the never-ending government shutdown, so thousands of flights were canceled or delayed. Meanwhile, the Philippines itself was being bashed by two super-typhoons in the span of about ten days. Would he have a place to land if he managed a way to fly there amidst a sea of canceled flights? Love conquers all, right?

He visited Jennifer and me again later. Which was good because it gave me another chance to verbally express to him my appreciation for him and all the things we did. I texted him just as he was taxiing at the airport. Ready for takeoff. He replied “Tell all hi and bye.” And off he went, to be a granddaddy on a beach far away from almost everything.

I love you Jeffery. We share my longest friendship. Stay in touch.